Boo Valen­tine’s Day: An Anti-Valen­tine’s Day Ode

 

In trib­ute to the great rap­per Lil Wayne “Love is in the air and I hold my breath ‘til my face turns pur­ple.” For those who are sin­gle or taken or sim­ply just aren’t in­ter­ested in the fa­mous hol­i­day, there are sev­eral op­tions.  Con­sid­er­ing the his­tory of this tragic hol­i­day, it may be best that we let this day rest in peace rather than cel­e­brate it by giv­ing into a mar­ket cre­ated by the Hall­mark Card Com­pany.

It be­gins with the end

First off, this hol­i­day has its ori­gins in death. A few cen­turies ago, a man named Valen­tine was killed be­cause of his love for his jail­er’s daugh­ter. His­tory would tell it that he sent his lover a let­ter just be­fore his death, signed “From Your Valen­tine.” Why would any­one want to memo­ri­al­ize that?

Is this re­ally about love?

Next, the hol­i­day seems to be most im­por­tant to women, con­sid­er­ing that out of the 1 bil­lion cards pur­chased every year, women pur­chase 85 per­cent of them. Men might not re­ally be in­ter­ested in show­ing love in such a pub­lic way when it can be shown on any of the other 364 days of the year.  It’s re­ally just a time for over­priced candy and flow­ers that will be marked down the next day. “I hon­estly hope that my sig­nif­i­cant other would never give me flow­ers, they’re go­ing to die, I’d rather get some­thing I can eat or use,” Lynda Op­pong, se­nior, said. 

S.A.D. aka Sin­gles Aware­ness Day

Fi­nally, the fi­nal nail in the cof­fin. Valen­tine’s day can be a re­minder of every failed re­la­tion­ship some­one has ever been in, as well as reaf­fir­ma­tion of the fact that one is alone rather than cud­dled up with a sig­nif­i­cant other. No one needs that kind of neg­a­tiv­ity in their lives.

 

So for those of you who are strongly op­posed to cel­e­brat­ing this hol­i­day in love-filled bliss, here are a few things that you can do in­stead:

1. If you shred a photo of your ex at Hoot­ers on Valen­tine’s Day, they will give you free wings. (Pic­ture Cour­tesy of Hoot­ers)
2. Rather than fol­low­ing the herds of peo­ple that will be go­ing to see any of the var­i­ous ro­man­tic come­dies or chick flicks, go see a hor­ror or ac­tion movie in­stead. (Photo Cour­tesy of Google)
3. Gather your other sin­gle friends and have a Galen­tine’s Day. Check out this ar­ti­cle about how to have a Galentine’s Day cel­e­bra­tion. “You can have a food party, where every­one brings food and watches a movie, like John Tucker Must Die,” Ash­ley Will­meno, ju­nior, said. 

Tweet us and let us know how any of these Anti-Valen­tine’s Day Sug­ges­tions worked @mvillepaw­print.