Dating 101: Avoiding Disaster First Dates

Ladies, we’ve all had them. Not only a first date but a really horrible one. The guy who couldn’t keep his mouth closed when he chewed his food; the one who was constantly checking the score of the game he could’ve been watching if he wasn’t there with you; or the guy who glanced at anything that walked past with a pulse. It’s a tough job but in the dating world, this is what we have to put up with. We wonder, “Why can’t I find someone that has everything on my list?” Cute smile, great personality…blah, blah, blah–it goes on forever. In a perfect world, this would be possible, but on planet Earth the chances are slim to a needle point. But there are ways to avoid running into the guy up for “Douche-Bag of the Year” award.

The first thing you should do is get rid of that list. This may sound crazy, but try to stop looking for things you like, and start noting things you don’t want in a guy. Of course we’re going to be attracted to characteristics that are appealing, but that’s what led you to the last jerk you dated. While we’re busy being mesmerized by his “cool” job, we overlook what we may not like about him and those are the most important things. You’ll notice things you don’t like quicker; this way you can decide early whether or not you want to see him again.

Yellow Flags

Showing Off: Contrary to popular belief, men want to make a good first impression just as much as women do. They may not take as long getting ready, but they too ask questions like: “what am I going to wear?” or “where should we go?” However, some guys fail epically at this task.

If he picks you up smelling like he just came from an incense shop, then you’re probably going to get a lot of attention at the restaurant. Too much cologne can turn a woman in the wrong direction, and give her a headache.

Wearing too much jewelry could be sending a message that he’s stylish or he spends more on his watch than on a better haircut. And I realize skinny jeans are the “it” thing right now, but there is a difference between fitted and suffocating. If your date has on pants that would make J-Lo look twice, then he might want to think twice before wearing them again. You don’t want someone who can shop for jeans with you in the same store.

Arriving Late: It may very well be true that his mother called right before he walked out the door. He may not be lying when he says his dog needed to be let out as soon as he grabbed his keys. Guys have all kinds of excuses as to why they’re late and we can’t always hold it against them. If it happens again, it’s a sign that he truly doesn’t own a watch or he doesn’t care about your time or feelings. Being on time is important, especially on a first date so just take note and if it turns into a pattern, you may want to start look elsewhere for entertainment.

Red Flag

ABB (Addicted to BlackBerry) Syndrome: With all the gidgets and gadgets out there for guys to play with, it only gives them another reason to ignore us, in addition to watching the game or going out with the boys. First dates are all about getting to know each other and there is no possible way to get to know someone if they’re constantly playing with their track ball. All of his attention should be focused on you. Any device that can receive or send messages should be turned off to avoid distraction. If he does it on a first date, he’ll probably do it all the time. Second date: not likely.

Disaster dates are what scare us from going out and meeting new people. But you can’t stay in the house and watch marathons of “America’s Next Top Model” every Saturday night. Sometimes we have to go through the worse to get to the best. So until next time, Happy Dating!