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Frequently heard when you think a call has been dropped, this is also what guys want to know after pulling a Houdini a couple months before. It’s unfortunate to say that some guys treat dating as a recreation. They meet women, leave women, then go back to those same women to see if he had a lasting enough impression to make them want more. It’s sickening but it’s what we have to deal with. The whole idea of wondering if he can wrap you around his crooked little finger comes from guys wanting to see how much control they can have, or better yet, boost their ego. Take away a man’s pride and he essentially left with that nothing. So, the confidence he exudes when he calls and you can hear in his voice that he’s convinced he can reel you in like a catfish, it’s a front and you can address it one of two ways. Before he begins his script to try and sway you, stop it before it starts and say something to the effect of, “Is there anything in particular you wanted to talk about?” If you have identified this as the reason he is calling and if you decide you don’t want to be his puppet, the extra conversation is unnecessary. The second option: stroke his ego. It’s interesting to see how guys react when we do this and they all require it to keep their testosterone level stable. Yes, it sounds tedious but if you decide you want to give him second chance at conversation-nothing more- and make him feel as if he accomplished something, you giggle, laugh at his jokes, make it seem like he’s really interesting and move on. Never say, “I miss you,” “I was thinking about you” or anything to that effect. Chit-chat, conclude and send him on his way.
If you two were intimate the first time around, it shouldn’t be a surprise why he’s asking again. Don’t’ get upset. Depending on your experience with him, you may want to be with him again too and that’s ok. In this case, especially if you don’t want a clinger, tell him that’s all you want and you’ll keep in touch. Sounds harsh but when you beat around the bush, you leave room for open interpretation; be blunt. Often women are sometimes hesitant to speak up about what they really want or how they feel because guys will either stop liking them or perceive them differently. Actually, guys like when women speak their minds, no matter what it is. He may not necessarily be attracted to you, but it’s a characteristic they definitely notice and admire in a woman. If you weren’t intimate and you have no desire to be, tell him no. Simple as that. If after months of not talking he believes a single phone call is getting him back in your good graces (or in something else) he’s mistaking. If the doesn’t like it, forget him The best thing to do in dating is be yourself and if he doesn’t like it, chit-chat, conclude and send him on his way.
They say everybody deserves a second chance, but they didn’t explicitly explain what that second chance should entail. If he comes back, it’s totally up to what you want to do with him because the very second he dials your number, the ball is in your court and Lisa Leslie has nothing on you. This whole dating thing is should be fun and there is no reason women should helpless or clueless when looking for someone she wants to spend more time with than the others-because that’s all dating is. And when you go about handling things a certain way, the outcome for you is so much better. He, on the other hand, may go home and play with his action figures or call another woman; if this is the case, you didn’t need him anyway. So, until next time, Happy Dating!